Ohhhhh my god you’re fighting in the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny? Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Gandalf the grey and Gandalf the white and Monty python and the holy grail’s black knight and benito mussolini and the blue meanie and cowboy curtis and jambi the genie, robocop, the terminator, captain kirk and Darth Vader, Lo Pan, superman and every single power ranger, bill s preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, the rock, doc oc and hulk hogan?
i stopped the dental technician while he was applying fluoride to ask what the fuck the flavour was supposed to be. And he was like oh I was wondering that too. It says it’s walterberry.
someone in the UK threw eggs at Charles and was arrested and has been banned from openly carrying eggs in public and has since been sent death threats but their statement on the matter was so fucking good
also let’s take a moment to appreciate the picture of this man being arrested
🥚❤
“So my bail conditions were, between my arrest and my trial, were that I wasn’t allowed to carry eggs in public.”
host laughs
“Yeah, I know, and so that is in itself like so absurd that it’s like right”
Host: “I gotta know, is there like a provision for if you’re going home from the store? Or are you just, are you just egg-less?”
“So the copper who was literally just like making this up at the station says like ‘Ok, so your bail condition is: you’re not allowed within 500 meters of the king; you’re not allowed to carry eggs in public’ and then he goes like 'ah actually, like, what 'appens if he wants to buy some eggs?’ Ok, so they changed it so it’s like, 'You’re allowed to carry eggs as long as you’re going home from the shops and you’ve got the receipt”
host laughs
“And I think, that was more viral than me actually doing it, you know what I mean like, people were like, that’s Britain for you, have you got a license for those eggs”-“The Man Who Egged King Charles”, It Could Happen Here, May 18 2023
“I think I hauve covid” is sort of the modern man’s anime nosebleed
The real thing with ADHD is not “I forgot”, but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.
At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.
And then at three I said, “Oh! Fuck!” and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, “OH! FUCK!” and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.
It isn’t one clean forgetting. It’s a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents’ anniversary.
Having experienced a lot of it in my 20s, I think some of the worst, pettiest, most straight up this-is-just-bullying-you’re-passing-off-as-praxis incidences of Queer Infighting endemic to young people can be best understood as attempts to exercise power by people with very little power.
Like you’re 22, you’re queer, you’ve just become a Marxist, the scope of World Suck is overwhelming and you have $30 in your bank account. What can you do to feel like you have any power? Well, you can try to get your frenemy cancelled for cosplaying a character from a problematic show. You can write a public callout post over someone’s obviously friendly use of a slur you don’t think they technically have the right to reclaim. Doing this stuff can make you feel like you have power and your actions have an impact. Unfortunately the impact in question is a negative impact on other marginalized people. But that often takes some maturity and self-reflection to notice.
I’m reminded of this post from 2017. To paraphrase, OP took part in community service via their university and part of that was cleaning the bathrooms at the local homeless community centre, which would frequently get trashed, not because the homeless people using them disrespected the work of the people cleaning them but because they had so little control over other things that happened in their lives, and the bathroom was something they could affect.
This, too, is a trashed bathroom; young queer people living through hell and having precious little control over their circumstances or the world in which they exist can affect something by using the language of social justice as a cudgel on their would-be allies, as well as getting a brief feeling of power over someone else by doing it.
It’s not worth it. Don’t trash your community bathrooms.
i just rediscovered the pelican spider. give me 1-2 business days to stop laughing at how they’re shaped and ill be normal again
the reviews are in
If you like the word “queer” reblog.
#fun umbrella. we r all sitting under it like the big rainbow thing in elementary school gym class
You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:
- Bitching and moaning
- Hater-ology
- Doing a goofy little bit about it
- Having a buddy say “that’s so fucked up” at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)
- Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing